Having the boys leave was quite a blow to the spirit. I looked forward to it for so long and then to have it be over...what is there to look forward to now? It gets lonely here...for me. I suppose it should be a motivator. I'm sure it will be, but for now, it has driven me to want to hide under the covers and sleep...
Yet, I have this sweet faced little thing sitting next to me. She needs me to be up and present and smiling. That is so hard sometimes. I feel I have to be ON all of the time. Today, I just want to cry.
Jason told me that we are basically getting garnished by the government due to not paying our taxes for the last 2 years. Not that I blame them, but we are going to be in a pinch. Therapy will be hard to afford. Training is out. These are things that are luxuries. We can't afford luxuries now. And that is fine. This might be good for us. We have not been living within our means. I am much to blame. I know this.
I am tired...seem to be shutting down in order to ignore the fact that I'm alone again. Harper seems to be drifting herself.
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